our anthem

December 31, 2014

for as long as i can remember, i wanted to be a mother. and not just any mother, but a stay at home mother. i wanted to get my kids ready for school everyday, drop them off & pick them up, drive them across town for their sports, run my own errands, clean the house, make dinner. that's how i always envisioned my life.

being a mother. 

for anyone who thinks being a SAHM is a "glamorous" lifestyle, i feel sorry for you. it is not a get out of jail free card because i don't have to "clock in/clock out".

it doesn't mean all those college classes were a "waste",
and it sure as hell does not mean "oh, you don't work".

sometimes i have to remind myself that i am doing what most people can't do. not just financially, but mentally. yes, it is a blessing to be able to live off of one income. is it tough? sure. but you know what? we lived our lives. we spent money on stupid shit. really stupid shit. we took those vacations. we had the fancy wedding. we did it.

most people get up to their alarms, hit snooze a few times, run for the coffee, and head off to a job that they hate. they spend 40+ hours a week, away from their family. at a job that they hate. they commute, meet deadlines, at a job that they hate. and if you are a working mother (bless your soul), then your days are even crazier. waking the kids up to get them to daycare in time for you to get to work on time, only to rush back to them before the school closes.

sometimes i wish i could have been a women who truly was career driven. i remember boyfriend's saying "well you can't just be a mom when you grow up. you have to have goals". now they are ex-boyfriends. and please don't get me wrong, i didn't marry my husband because he allowed me to be home with our daughter. i didn't marry him because his income is "enough" for our family. i married him because we had the same vision. he was raised by a SAHM and he knew how lucky he was. 

i feel like people look at SAHM's as a filler. like our "jobs" don't really mean anything because we don't bring home a paycheck. which in return, makes me second guess my decision to be home. it makes me feel like those college classes were a waste. it makes friendly conversations uncomfortable because "oh, you stay home? that must be nice" 

.. yea, nice. 

it's nice not showering for 3 days. it's nice taking care of a screaming baby, with a fever, while you have a fever yourself. it's nice to forget to eat, again.

so the next time you run into a SAHM, remember this post. remember that they don't get to call in sick, or take a personal day. they don't get to hit snooze. they don't get to enjoy that hot cup of heaven. they DO work. just because we don't wear a uniform, doesn't mean our job doesn't matter. and just because we don't bring home a paycheck, doesn't mean we don't contribute. 

we may never have to clock in, but that's only because we never get to
c l o c k  o u t .


diy | salt dough ornaments

December 18, 2014

as we approach mila's first christmas, i wanted to make something that we would do each year to see how much she has grown. plus, these are adorable gifts. i saw this on one of my mommy friend's IG pages + loved the idea! i did a test run since i had a feeling it wasn't going to go as easy as i thought. good thing i did. my daughter is at the age where she grabs anything that is near her hands. so when i first tried to get her handprint into the dough, it was fine. but when i went to lift her hand off of the dough, she grabbed it. turning it into mush. thanks kid!

today, me and my mommy friend are attempting these once more. her twin girls are just about 10 days older than mila, so i figured we could tackle this together, along with some vodka [ha!] i may wind up doing mila's feet if her handprints don't turn out so good. 

enough about me, here's how we are getting down ..

what you'll need:

1/2 cup of salt
1/2 cup of flour
2 tablespoons of water

rolling pin
toothpick (optional)
string to hang ornament

[you can also decorate it, as we will be doing]
for that, just get paint, clear sealant spray + whatever else you want to use

what you'll do:

first, preheat your oven to 250

mix salt, flour + water together in a bowl
[depending on how much you want, you can double/triple the recipe]

you want to make sure the dough is dry

sprinkle flour onto counter [or cutting board]
and roll the dough into a sheet

you want to keep the dough at a decent thickness
since you want their prints to be noticeable

press their hands, or feet, into dough
you'll want to then cut the prints out, leaving space around them

once you have finished the prints, if you want to write on it, use a toothpick to do so
or you can leave it, and paint it later. or just leave it au natural for a moral organic look

use the straw to make a hole at the top,
so you can later attach yawn + hang it from your tree

bake for 30 minutes or so, check periodically to make sure they don't burn

once cooked, you can now decorate!

use paint, glitter, or whatever else you can find. you can also use cookie cutters to cut them out, or add in food coloring to change up the looks of each one. get creative. 

then add in your yawn + vwaalaaaaa! a masterpiece.


CLOSED | holiday give-a-way

December 16, 2014

hey guys! so as my views increase daily, i wanted to say thank you! as a stay at home mom, this is sometimes my only outlet into the real world. i share my thoughts, fears & everything in between. i wanted to say thank you to those who have been so supportive & check out my posts, even if it's just to pass some time.

although i wish i could kiss each of you (don't tell my husband), i thought a little give-a-way would be nice, especially around the holidays. here is how to enter:

comment on this post & let me know
what you love most about the holidays

since i don't expect to get a million submissions,
picking a winner should be pretty easy. the prizes will be beauty related.

- one submission daily -
- US residents only -

winner will be announced
christmas day

also, let me know if you guys would like a mommy give-a-way. i really wanted to do one of those too, but not sure how many mommies read my page! let know know :) 

thanks again so much
without you guys, i wouldn't enjoy this as much as i do


my holiday wish list

December 15, 2014

10 more days until christmas morning. how crazy is that?! so as a new mom, i laugh at my mental wish list for the holidays. times have changed so much. these are my top items. comfy, basic + universal items.

1. a new robe / since i had to throw away my old one, thanks mila

2. essie - wicked / i can't seem to find this shade anywhere. it's so gorgeous

3. crest whitening strips / a moms gotta pamper herself right?

4. a messenger bag / since my baby bag is huge, this would be so helpful for quick errands

5. black leggings / no explanation. these are all i wear

6. UA in-fared top / i have the matching leggings, but am lusting over the top (in black)

7. ugg moccasin slippers / obsessed. perfect for the cold months

8. oversized sweater / love the turtleneck style on this one. so perfect for winter

what are some items you are lusting over?
make sure to tell santa!

recipe | buffalo chicken pasta

December 12, 2014

boy do we love food in this house, especially on the weekends! when i was younger, my family + i would go to this pizzeria in our town (mainly because i had a crush on one of the owner's sons) but the food was delicious too. crazy, but the place is still there - and one day after a surprise spa day (thanks to my fabulous husband), we stopped in for dinner. his favorite thing in the world? buffalo chicken pizza. i was never a huge fan, but after having it at this pizzeria, i was hooked. we have tried it at a few different places, but of course, theirs was the best.

i thought about making it a few times at home, since i had attempted it before. but i know it would never be as good at theirs. then i had a brilliant idea - buffalo chicken pasta! i put my own little spin on it, so i am sure you could do the same to make it more appealing to your family.

what you'll need:

pasta of your choice, i used rigatoni
chicken (cooked or raw)
garlic powder
frank's hot sauce: buffalo style
bleu cheese dressing
shredded mozzarella or crumbled bleu cheese (optional)

obviously depending on the amount of people
you are cooking for, the measurements will be different,
but i am more of a "by eye" kind of cooker anyways! :)

what you'll do:

first you'll want to cook your chicken (if you bought it raw)
dice it up & let it cook in a pan (you can add oil if you want), about 5-10 minutes or until completely cooked.

cook your pasta, drain
add chicken to pasta, along with buffalo sauce, salt & pepper, and your garlic powder

i waited until i was about to serve to add the following:
bleu cheese dressing
shredded cheese

*some people prefer ranch dressing, which i am sure would be great too*

stir it up and enjoy!
i served this with some homemade garlic bread, just to add some extra carbs.


what my daughter has taught me

December 4, 2014

from a super young age, i always knew what i wanted to be: a mother. of course i was obsessed with baby dolls, but it was deeper than that. i wanted to be everything to someone. i wanted someone to physically, emotionally & whole-heartedly need me. i wanted to give an unimaginable love to someone. don't get me wrong, i had an amazing upbringing. i wasn't a girl who needed to fill a void. but i was always told "you won't understand how much i love you until you have a baby".

she was so worth the wait.

my baby girl is 7 months old today. i have no idea where the time went, but i can honestly tell you, that i remember everyday since she has been on this earth. from the first weeks of breastfeeding, to today, wiggling around the house & shaking her head no when she doesn't like a new food. it's a ride that i hope to ride until my last breath.

i'm not sure if it's the fact that i retired from my 9-5, but i really feel like the world is in a rush. i wish more people had the blessing that i do, being home with their babies everyday, but being away from your kids for 40+ hours a week, you'd think you would appreciate the time you had with them a little more. yea yea, i know, i'm a stay at home mom. shut up, right? what do i know about real life?

i get all dressed up just to get puked on. i do my hair just to have it pulled, and puked in. i do my make-up, only to have sweet potatoes spit in my face. and guess what? then i have to run errands, cook dinner and go to doctor appointments. i sit at a red light, or in bumper to bumper traffic with a screaming baby in the backseat. still with puke in my hair & on my fancy leggings.

all my designer bags are packed away neatly in my closet. christmas comes more frequently than my trips to the hair salon. my "swing by for a drink" days are over. and i couldn't be happier.

my daughter has taught me to be in the moment, even if she is screaming. to enjoy every second, because before i know it, she will be walking down the aisle. my daughter has taught me that even with puke in my hair, that won't get washed out for at least 3 days, i am all that she needs. she doesn't care if i have a million things on my to-do list, she will want to be held for the entire day. she reminds me everyday, that just because i don't bring home a paycheck, i am irreplaceable.

she gives me life -- funny how that works, right? 

i am reminded

December 1, 2014

i'm not sure when it happens. i mean, on paper, i know exactly when it happened. i know the date, the time, the weather. i know what i wore and the scent in the air. i know everything, but i just don't know when it happens. 

this weekend, we went to go visit my mom. we turned down her street and i saw his car parked in front of the house (his car was recently purchased by a family friend). my heart immediately jumped. and then it happened. i was reminded. i said "wow, i saw dad's car and thought DAD IS HERE!" i was reminded. it happened.

 was that it? was that the moment? i'm not sure. or maybe it happened when i play with my daughter. she will be laughing and i will just stop and look at her. i am reminded.

or maybe when my day isn't going exactly as i had planned. it use to just take a 5 minute phone call to fix it. it use to just take a "best kid, best dad" and i would be ready to conquer the world.

now it takes a little bit more.

i am reminded by lights on the tree. i am reminded by a movie. it happens daily. when my daughter was born. on father's day. it seems as if life just continues on. not sure how, but it does. 

it's been over a year and i am not sure it will ever happen. maybe it's not suppose to happen. maybe you're never really suppose to accept that they aren't here. that you can't call them. you can't "stop by real quick". i am reminded everyday. it happens everyday.

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