the last few weeks have been a blur. we have been getting so much stuff situated before we embark on a new chapter in our lives, and as any new stay at home mom will tell you -- there aren't enough hours in a day. my husband's work schedule puts him out of the house for pretty much the entire day/night, just making it home in time for mila's bedtime, which leaves me to run the show.
i always imagined myself being home with my kids. i never wanted them in daycare being raised by other people, while i was at work - just to throw my money back into daycare. especially with my husband gone, i didn't want to be absent as well.
but to be honest, i never imagined it being so challenging. your priorities change. your "socializing" time is pretty much shot to shit - phone calls are a thing of the past, texts only please. invitations to events go out the window too. people assume you are too busy, and even though you may be, you would have loved to have just been thought of - even if they knew you would decline.
life changes. you are now taking care of a human being 24/7. you're on call every second, of everyday. they make the rules. if you have to pee, and they are crying. guess what? you're holding it. if you woke up at 5am and it is now 2pm and you still haven't eaten anything, guess what? tough shit.
but as impossible as it may sound, you don't care.
you are too busy playing peek-a-boo to realize everyone went out the night before & drank all night. you are giving kisses to fix tears. you are a human restaurant, a human burp cloth. you are too busy playing "horsey" to realize the 4 days worth of dishes in the sink. who cares anyways?!
your life finally doesn't revolve around nights out at the bar, or double tapping pictures on instagram (even though on some days, that will be your only form of human contact). your life has meaning. you suddenly don't give a shit if all your friends went out the night before & you just to happen to miss the invite. all the "i can't wait to meet the baby" texts, soon turn into "wow she is walking already?". you finally see people's true colors when your life goes beyond theirs.
i am not sure if this is a rant, or just how i realized the turn my life has made. i may not have an extra set of hands helping me, or someone to have an actual adult conversation with until 8 o'clock at night, but i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. the smiles i get throughout the day are worth more than any paycheck or night out. the best thing in the world is being a mom. seriously. the best.